Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Doans Pills

Why is it that the older I get, the harder it is to stay in shape and not become some huge fat ass. I try to go to the gym at least three or four days a week, I eat rabbit food (I mean salads) for lunch as much as I can stand them and we try to eat healthy at home. We eat very little pasta and bread and seldom eat desserts, well that are planned anyway. My problem is that I just can't get filled up at night for some reason. Man, one plate just doesn't do it for me and since there is always extra, why not go and fix another. You don't want leftovers filling up the fridge anyway. But sometimes that extra plate just isn't enough either.

Then the daughter will come in and say, "Hey dad, do you think I should bake some cookies?" Well, sure Sweetie, why not? They don't take long either. They are the ones that come prepackaged and all you have to do is put 'em on a baking sheet. There big too, and hot and chewy and delicious. Chocolate chip of course. The wife and daughter will usually eat a couple each, and they will bring me a couple too. Afterward, the wife will attempt to find a container for the remaining still warm and delicious, chocolatey, chewey devils still on the cookie sheet. "Oh, don't worry about dirtying up any container baby, I'll just finish those off for you".

This is why I fight the huge, fat ass look.

You are probably wondering about the title of this post by now, but I had to give you a little background first. Like I said before, I try to go to the gym on a regular basis. I lift more than I do cardio (which is my first mistake), and am sore a lot during the week. But this is the thing that gets me. Yesterday, I did a little thing like lean over my desk and my back fell out of alignment or something. Now I have some damn sharp pain that is aggrevating the hell out of me every time I move wrong. Don't worry. It will ease up after a couple of days. It always does.

This morning all I could think about were the old commercials for Doan's Pills that I used to see on tv as a kid, when I didn't understand what back pain meant.

The older I get, the more obvious it is.


  1. I'll try to get some Doan's Pills for you at Wal-Mutant today. I hope they will make your OLD back feel better:) While I'm there, maybe I'll pick up a nice salad for dinner......Bwahahahaha!

  2. Damn those cookies. They just beg to be eaten!

    I overdid yesterday at the gym too. Pass the Doan's!

  3. You could milk that back thing - "Oh, Big Hair. Sweetie. You look lovely today. Do you think you could spare a minute for a back rub?" OR "I'd really love to vacuum the house/rake the leaves/whatever but my back...."

  4. Thanks Woody, but I don't think he needs ANY MORE ideas!!! Aren't you supposed to be on MY side???


  5. I just got a whiff of Irish Spring soap....

    Are you coming to our Virginia blogfest?

  6. Doan's? Isn't that the one that used to show a silhouetted shot of a man reaching around to rub a pulsating red area in his lower back? By the way, if those are your Doan's in the picture, I wouldn't take them -- they definitely look outdated. Oh wait, this is a manly blog, right? Hell with expiration dates; real men don't pay attention to those. Go ahead take em! And definitely take at least twice the recommended dose. Arrrrrrrr.