Ok, here we go. It's Monday, three days before Christmas.
I still have to shop.
I have three projects at work that must be done before the end of the year.
Will we ever decorate the tree?
Why is it so damn cold here today?
I still have to shop (and I don't know what I will be shopping for).
I have clients calling me about these three projects that are due before the end of the year.
Why am I blogging when I have shopping and work and decorating and work and shopping to do?
Man, I need a smoke. Even Santa needed one around this time of year (at least sometime in the past based on this old ad I found).
No, I''m just kidding. Yes, I do have to do all these things, but hey, that's what I do. I love to procrastinate as much as possible for some reason. Then it's like I kick into overdrive and get 'er done. It's almost as if I need the adrenaline rush or something ... almost like a mission. It's amazing what manuevers have to be employed to make it happen, especially the shopping part. And it's really not shopping. It is buying. I usually make up mind at the last minute and then I will make the mad dash to the mall or something.
Arrive at mall. (with 2,000,564,838 other men)
Park at earliest convenience (lot is full, doesn't matter can walk faster without wife)
Make eye contact with no one, walk briskly and directly to store, avoiding any vendors at kiosks trying to give you free samples or demonstrations (although one time this really cute little girl caught me and put some stuff on my finger nail that made it smooth and shiny, I think Snow White was with me that time.)
Go in store through eye-watering and sinus attack- inducing perfume area. (Why is this? I gag every time. How can you stand all that stuff? What are trying to ...? Well, never mind.)
Immediatley thereafter, find gift.
Go back to work.
Total time: 15 minutes (at warp speed)
Maybe one more smoke.