Monday, December 22, 2008

Crunch Time

Ok, here we go. It's Monday, three days before Christmas.

I still have to shop.

I have three projects at work that must be done before the end of the year.

Will we ever decorate the tree?

Why is it so damn cold here today?

I still have to shop (and I don't know what I will be shopping for).

I have clients calling me about these three projects that are due before the end of the year.

Why am I blogging when I have shopping and work and decorating and work and shopping to do?

Man, I need a smoke. Even Santa needed one around this time of year (at least sometime in the past based on this old ad I found).

No, I''m just kidding. Yes, I do have to do all these things, but hey, that's what I do. I love to procrastinate as much as possible for some reason. Then it's like I kick into overdrive and get 'er done. It's almost as if I need the adrenaline rush or something ... almost like a mission. It's amazing what manuevers have to be employed to make it happen, especially the shopping part. And it's really not shopping. It is buying. I usually make up mind at the last minute and then I will make the mad dash to the mall or something.

Arrive at mall. (with 2,000,564,838 other men)

Park at earliest convenience (lot is full, doesn't matter can walk faster without wife)

Make eye contact with no one, walk briskly and directly to store, avoiding any vendors at kiosks trying to give you free samples or demonstrations (although one time this really cute little girl caught me and put some stuff on my finger nail that made it smooth and shiny, I think Snow White was with me that time.)

Go in store through eye-watering and sinus attack- inducing perfume area. (Why is this? I gag every time. How can you stand all that stuff? What are trying to ...? Well, never mind.)

Immediatley thereafter, find gift.


Reverse track

Go back to work.

Total time: 15 minutes (at warp speed)

Maybe one more smoke.


  1. Do you live in my husband's head? Squazz, is that you?

  2. I'm with you, I hate shopping. I did a whole post on that nail stuff from the Dead Sea or where ever it was. Did she ask you if you had a boyfriend? Oh well, at least you got your shopping and smoke, about that work that's due before the first of the year.....

  3. I meant did she ask you if you had a girlfriend!! Sorry about that. She asked me if I had a boyfriend!

  4. Cool Breeze...I think your honesty is refreshing!

    I can come and help with those projects that need to be finished!!! I am a casualty of the economy and need something very intellectual to do...I am a technical writer/project manager/research specialist and am willing to relocate...really...especially right now with HWM being sick...LOL

    Happy Quick Buying for you...I have the greatest faith that it will be mission accomplished!


  5. CB-I hate shopping so much I have totally resorted to on line shopping except for the milk and bread..still working on that one.

    What day did you say you were going to the mall? I want to make sure I stay off the road =)

  6. And if that tree aint decorated by now...I would not even bother. It'll make for easy puttin' away!

  7. You are such a man...with the late shopping part anyway. I also hate walking throught the perfume dept and they are always trying to spray big skunks they are!!!!
    I have a boat load of stuff to do leaving for Miami in 30 minutes to make Chrismtas dinner for my Grandma and I still have not finalized my menu. **crap**
    Take care and smoking kills. Drinking is better. :)
    Oh, yeah, the tree. Have Snow white do it. Surely she is out of school today.

  8. I love it! I also shop like you. Last minute, head down, in and out as fast as I can walk. But I do admit to stopping at the perfume counter ... and making all of the guys in my office sneeze because of it.

  9. I can't say anything about your procrastination this year.....I'm right there with you:)

    It will all get done, and it will be WONDERFUL!

    Now, about that deer meat...

  10. That is inspired shopping! And has about as much thought put into it as any girl can hope for... *sigh*...
    OOOOOOH, my word verification is "siner".

  11. Once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator. How many papers did you write in HS the night before they were due. How many exams did you study for during band, lunch and or study hall the day of the exam? You and me both. Try as I may, I still can't kick that personality trait. I should be writing a magazine article right now, but here I am reading your stuff instead. I'll push it right to the deadline as usual... and the adrenalin will flow and the creative juices will come alive and it will be much better than if I planned it all out and wrote it at a leisurely pace ahead of time.

  12. CBM, Hotel Roanoke had me stumped for days... then I think it clicked. Beta or NHS convention? Was that it? Can't remember anything from that event. Whoa, wait a minute. Did we do some lame skit? Couldn't tell you what it was about. Don't remember any Mathews girls. Wasn't there a bunch from Gretna?

  13. RR - I can't believe you don't remember the convention. It was for BETA, our first year as juniors.

    I think that was the year that I dressed in suit and wore the Reagan mask. Don't you remember that I trotted from the back with one of those stick horses they used to have on Romper Room.

    We shared a Newton's bus with the club from Mathews High and ended up partying with some girls. I can't believe you don't remember having the contest to see who could drink more shots of 151. Well maybe I just answered that.

    I think the chicks from Gretna were from our senior year. That one's not as fresh in my mind.

  14. I understand fully.
    I would be President of the local procrastinator's club by now but I still haven't gotten around to joining.

  15. So true, so true. I can't wait to see BHE's- what I got for Christmas post ;)

    Sorry about your boys. They helped us out a lot, though. Thanks for that!

  16. Men are so funny! The mall parking lot was CRAMMED yesterday. I have to drive by it on my way to work. I am SO glad I don't have to go in there. If I haven't gotten someone a present yet then I am either regifting, giving them a picture or some cash. Mall=DANGER : ). Good luck!