Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The Ride Home

Ok, so we went to church Sunday morning as usual. It's a nice time to be with our church family during this Advent Season. Our little country church is decorated with wreaths and bows and it is the one place that is beginning to get me into the spirit of the holiday. We enjoy going each and every week and always feel more at peace just for being there that short time on Sunday morning.

We had to hang out a bit longer than usual in order to help move everything out of the pulpit area to decorate for the Chistmas show. It's one of the things I have to do. Remember it's a small church where everyone pitches in to get things done. It doesn't bother me. I like to help where I can.

Snow White drove separately this particular morning so she could go to the big city that afternoon for a vocal performance concert. So it was just me and BHE.

We only live less than ten minutes from church so it's typically a nice, relaxing ride home. We'll talk about the service, or the choir, or usually what's for lunch. This day was a bit different.

I'm driving about 58 in a 55 which should not be a problem for anyone on Sunday at 12:30, but I had this car ride right up on my bumper. I mean close Jack. She had to be less than 10 feet from me. I could hardly see her hood in the rear view mirror and she was close enough that I could clearly see that she was a woman and that there was a man in the passenger seat. I think he was wearing some oversized coat and a knit stocking cap. (I know this doesn't have anything to do with the story other than I told you they were close).

It bothered me a bit, but I knew I would be turning in about a mile or so. But she kept pressing it, so I finally blurted out, "I've got some a**hole riding my tail". To which BHE says "Oh, just like you do?"

What do think happened to Cool Breeze's blood pressure upon hearing this comment? But, I kept my cool. I said "Well not as close as her!"

BHE responds with "Yea right", (in that way that says "You dumb ass. Don't you know how many years I've been riding with you?").

I remained calm. I mean I kept my cool without saying anything in response to her comment that made my blood boil, but in the back of my mind, I knew was correct.

So I finally make the turn, hoping harmony on the ride home will return without this prick riding my tail anymore. But NO!! She turns too!!

I can't take it anymore.

To quote Clark Griswold, "I'm gonna burn a little dust here! Eat my rubber!". I punch it, quickly leaving the pursuer, flying around the next two tight turns on this little country road, tires squalling, testosterone flowing!!!

Then I hear, "COOL BREEZE!!! WHY DO YOU DO THAT?!?!?" At this point I am so pumped up, all I could get out was, "WHY DO YOU ... DO ... ANYTHING ... THAT ... YOU ... EVER ...?" It was all that I could muster without acting or looking like even more of a jerk.

The remaining mile home was silent and at the speed limit.

Why do I act like that?


  1. I have no idea. I think it might be the male version of the hormones acting up. I will check back here later for more answers. I really want to know :)

  2. Sometimes it's worth a car just to slam the brakes in that situation. "whoops I was breaking to avoid a pigeon or something."

  3. Maybe you were having a little mental pausal moment. It can happen to men, too, you know. Just sayin'. Oh, and I am going to send this post to my husband. I think you should get points for sharing;)

  4. CB, Not sure why you do that..CdubbleU does it too! Here are some road tips. It's gonna be OK!


  5. I am always the one wanting to slam on my brakes when that happens, but usually I just proceed to go even slower.
    As to why men do the things you do, let me know when you get that answer:)

  6. Manopause. Definitely manopause. But I can see one redeeming fact - in the back of your mind, you knew she was right!!

    When someone rides my tail, I go slower and slower. And then punch it when they try to pass. Yeah, I'm a bitch that way!

  7. My reaction is to slow down, slam on the brakes or just pull over.

  8. This is such a guy thing. My husband would have done the same thing. It's primal.

  9. Because you are a man. Plain and simple. You are from Mars. We are from Venus.
    Can't fight the truth. :)

  10. I'm still not ready to trade you in on a new model:)


  12. SSG can't help you on this one because she um ... learned how to drive in Southern California. Which is like saying "you're doing 90 and there's like 2 car lengths in front of you, why are you going so slow?" But I did giggle, I can just picture you two having the same argument that many, many husbands and wives have : )

  13. CB it's not your fault! you can't help it, you're a MAN.
    Now I know that sounds a little sexist, but does it really when I am saying it in defense of you?
    Don't you love looking at where people are from that are dropping in on your blog on the feedjit live feed? I really enjoy mine.

  14. Well, I'm one to slow down to a crawl in this situation too, but I guess that's a chick thing to do!