The Ride Home

Ok, so we went to church Sunday morning as usual. It's a nice time to be with our church family during this Advent Season. Our little country church is decorated with wreaths and bows and it is the one place that is beginning to get me into the spirit of the holiday. We enjoy going each and every week and always feel more at peace just for being there that short time on Sunday morning.

We had to hang out a bit longer than usual in order to help move everything out of the pulpit area to decorate for the Chistmas show. It's one of the things I have to do. Remember it's a small church where everyone pitches in to get things done. It doesn't bother me. I like to help where I can.

Snow White drove separately this particular morning so she could go to the big city that afternoon for a vocal performance concert. So it was just me and BHE.

We only live less than ten minutes from church so it's typically a nice, relaxing ride home. We'll talk about the service, or the choir, or usually what's for lunch. This day was a bit different.

I'm driving about 58 in a 55 which should not be a problem for anyone on Sunday at 12:30, but I had this car ride right up on my bumper. I mean close Jack. She had to be less than 10 feet from me. I could hardly see her hood in the rear view mirror and she was close enough that I could clearly see that she was a woman and that there was a man in the passenger seat. I think he was wearing some oversized coat and a knit stocking cap. (I know this doesn't have anything to do with the story other than I told you they were close).

It bothered me a bit, but I knew I would be turning in about a mile or so. But she kept pressing it, so I finally blurted out, "I've got some a**hole riding my tail". To which BHE says "Oh, just like you do?"

What do think happened to Cool Breeze's blood pressure upon hearing this comment? But, I kept my cool. I said "Well not as close as her!"

BHE responds with "Yea right", (in that way that says "You dumb ass. Don't you know how many years I've been riding with you?").

I remained calm. I mean I kept my cool without saying anything in response to her comment that made my blood boil, but in the back of my mind, I knew was correct.

So I finally make the turn, hoping harmony on the ride home will return without this prick riding my tail anymore. But NO!! She turns too!!

I can't take it anymore.

To quote Clark Griswold, "I'm gonna burn a little dust here! Eat my rubber!". I punch it, quickly leaving the pursuer, flying around the next two tight turns on this little country road, tires squalling, testosterone flowing!!!

Then I hear, "COOL BREEZE!!! WHY DO YOU DO THAT?!?!?" At this point I am so pumped up, all I could get out was, "WHY DO YOU ... DO ... ANYTHING ... THAT ... YOU ... EVER ...?" It was all that I could muster without acting or looking like even more of a jerk.

The remaining mile home was silent and at the speed limit.

Why do I act like that?